Episode 46 Podcast Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):

The reason why most people do fail, and this is the trap, is that the moment they hit that obstacle, all their good intentions from the 1st of January, go out the window. Hi everyone, happy New Year’s Rob Kropp and Dan Stones here from Pravar Group and welcome back to another episode of The Trade Den. Hey, how you going? It’s that time of the year again. The end of the year brings a holiday season and a time to rest and reflect then comes the resolutions to make the year the one for change. January’s a month of fresh starts, renewed intentions and a resolve to make this our best year. Yet we all know hardly anyone sticks to the New Year’s resolutions and their goals. Stats tell us and our own experience tells us. Let’s face it, change is hard where creatures of habit and our brains prefer the familiar safe and even easy when it’s not in our best interests. We’re creatures of habit and our brains prefer the familiar, safe and easy, even if it’s not in our best interests. We’ve all been there. We enthusiastically set resolutions on January 1st only to find our resolve crumbling a short while later. Let’s break this pattern and assure you have your best year yet.

Speaker 2 (01:15):

So the big question we’re going to be asking and tackling today is why do I start the year with good intentions but never seem to achieve what I set out to achieve? Before we get going though, I want to talk around Phil Dawes’s story and Phil for so long had a vision and every time he talked through his vision is that he wouldn’t work the hours he wanted to. It always just came back to that thing that he was trying to get away from and what he’d give up in order just to get out of pain. And as a landscaper you could see the job in his mind and how he wanted things to turn out every single day. Yet when it came to his own vision and his goals and what he desired to do for the year, no matter where it was when he tried to do it, he struggled to apply those same skills and everything he did in terms of that, every time he tried it was vague. It was sort of expressed in a negative form and it was really uncertain and he could never give himself that gift or that permission to dream big or to play a longer game or get beyond anything than short-term pain and how to avoid it.

Speaker 1 (02:14):

Yeah, what I love about Phil’s story, it’s a really good one and the reason why we’ve shared it is to highlight some of the big traps that we’re going to go through today.

Speaker 2 (02:23):

Yeah, absolutely Rob. I think if you can start to become aware of these traps, then it’s going to ensure that you’re able to set your goals, your strategies, and focus on execution, which is going to be the key to ensuring that you make it past that likelihood of you hit that January step and it’s like what just happened? It’s like I never even made those things. Or who was that guy that chose those as the outcomes for the year?

Speaker 1 (02:45):

Yeah, nice. Looking forward to it. Let’s get stuck into it hey.

Speaker 2 (02:48):

Alright, so let’s talk in terms of traps because this is what it’s really like. It’s like we fall down a mineshaft and all of a sudden everything’s changed. Trap number one is obsessing on what you don’t want.

Speaker 1 (02:59):

I think this is a really big one and where so many people go wrong when it comes to goal setting at the start of the year and in particular their New Year’s resolutions, what most people are motivated by moving away from paying where I don’t want that cashflow problem. I want to work less hours, I want to lose a little bit of weight. And majority of people, they want to move away from something. And I think this is one of the biggest traps when it comes New Year’s resolutions. What they’re trying to do is they set their New Year’s resolutions moving away from something rather than, which is often in a negative tense rather than moving towards something which is pleasurable of how they want to live their life and build their business, which is more in the positive sense.

Speaker 2 (03:55):

And I think this is why it’s so short-lived. These resolutions die so quickly because what they’re really saying is, my objective is to get out of pain and we can get out pain really quickly. It doesn’t mean we achieve what we want, but that short-term thinking or that short-term experience is, well, I’m out of pain, mission accomplished, what’s next? What else could there be?

Speaker 1 (04:13):

Yeah, and it’s inspiring. It’s not to be able to work less hours or make some more money and when it’s vague like that, there’s no outcomes, there’s no strategy, there’s no strategic thinking around that. And no wonder so many people fail as they get back into the normal routine of their life come January is because they’re vague. They’re moving away from something, it’s not inspiring, it’s not motivating, and then they get back into the normal grind. Now wonder they fall off the waggon so early in the year.

Speaker 2 (04:47):

Yeah, absolutely. The best way I hear it when I think about this trap is when people ask what’s the definition of health? And for most people it’s just to not be sick. That’s what they’ll give you as the automatic reaction, but it’s a long way from just not being sick to actually being healthy. And I think that moving away from moving away from versus moving toward, there’s such a big gap, but people discount it so quickly.

Speaker 1 (05:10):

And going back to Phil’s story is like, I want to work less hours. I don’t want to have the cashflow problems. I don’t want to have to be relied on so much of my business, so I don’t want to have to work nights and weekends. They’re all the things that he didn’t want. But where Phil really struggled was, well, what do you want mate? Where do you want to go and what’s the business and life that you want to be able to build? And he really struggled with that and the more he’s done it over the years of coaching, because we do visioneering, which is engineering your vision and goal setting and setting outcomes and strategic plays and somewhat new year’s resolutions at the start of each year, the more you do, the better you get at it. But initially Phil really struggled with it because he was so anchored on what he didn’t want rather than what he did want.

Speaker 2 (06:04):

And that’s a pattern of thinking people think in the negative. So that’s what they’re always geared to go there. And this is why I think most people, I think it’s fair to say you and I have seen this enough, but most people are horrible at defining outcomes. But I think the good news is that it is a skill that you can learn over time as you just pointed out with Phil.

Speaker 1 (06:22):

And an outcome is something that you work towards an outcome. Most people set New Year’s resolutions around, well my New Year’s resolution is to go to the gym or run three times a week. But they’re just strategies to achieve an outcome is the outcome. You are looking to achieve 10 kilos of weight loss or lose 5% on body fat or go from 1 million to $2 million and go from 8% to 12% net profit their outcomes that you’re chasing the go for a run, go to the gym, hire someone, implement a job management system, their strategies and tactics to achieve it. But where most people go wrong is they’re vague in their thinking and they set new year’s resolutions around these strategies and tactics rather than working towards something as an outcome or a vision or something inspiring that you want to be able to create going forward.

Speaker 2 (07:21):

And this is trap number two, right? People end up, I think the shorthand way of saying it is they create a to do list. You end up saying what you don’t want and then it’s like, what are all the things I could do that would probably help me get out of pain? And people race through that outcome phase. They never get clear, they never put the detail or the depth into what they want. They’re just literally, I don’t want that. Here’s all the things I know I could do. That would mean that I’d no longer be in pain. And that often ends up being feeling like it’s overwhelming and it’s tiring and it’s masking. And what we talk about Rob in Pravar is that you’re just not facing the facts at that point.

Speaker 1 (07:59):

And I think when things then get difficult, you get bored and you lose motivation. And that’s what happens in come the end of January and start of February and into March. This is where stats do tell us in our own experience, like we said earlier, this is where people fall off the waggon is because when you do this, create this to-do list of all the things that you should do you feel like you should do, then when challenges arise or you get stuck into the day-to-day grind or back into your routine or something difficult comes up or the willpower or motivation goes away, this is why people fall into that trap and then fall off their path that they’ve set themselves with. Their best thinking come the 1st of January is because it’s just a boring to-do list of all the things that they feel like they’re obliged or should do in the first place.

Speaker 2 (08:48):

Yeah, it’s just another thing to add to the list. And I think this is where, coming back to Phil’s story, he was really good at this because he was in operational mode 99% of the time and trying to get to the point where he would at some stage, I’ll have done all the shit that I should do and that list will be empty and then I’ll have this experience. And I think creating a to-do list is an absolute trap. So if you find yourself setting your resolution and no more do you just think about what it might feel like and it’s a fleeting, geez, that felt good. Now what do I need to do? You’re already into to-do list mode and you’ve fallen into that trap.

Speaker 1 (09:23):

Yeah, absolutely. And this is a skill that as a business owner, you’ve got to be able to develop over a period of time. And to be honest, a lot of you can already do this. You do it in your trade and your craft all day long, whether you’re a builder or landscaper, you might do renovations of bathrooms or kitchens or whatever it is. You’ve got the ability to be able to see what you’re going to build through your craft in your mind. You can see the house being built or the kitchen being renovated, you know what the outcomes are of what you want to be able to create, what the strategies are to be able to get there. And then it’s your ability to be able to get on there and build that. And so in the trades and construction space, we say this to clients when we’re taking them through this process early in their journeys, you already know how to do it.

(10:13):

You’ve just got to be able to transfer that skill from your craft into business. And it just takes time because no doubt when you’re an apprentice, you sucked at being able to see the job to completion. But the more you go through this journey in business, the better you get at it. But it’s definitely a skill that you’ve got to be able to master over a period of time. And I think Phil’s done a really great job of that. The more he is done it, the longer he is stayed in coaching, he’s just been able to really hone that craft, hasn’t he?

Speaker 2 (10:41):

Yeah, it is. And I love what you sort of said there, and I think that there’s two sort of questions that Bob up and you’ll know when you’re falling into this trap, there’s what do you want? And then there’s how am I going to get there? And I think it’s so easy to get to the how am I going to get there piece we kid ourselves that we’re going to be doing something, we’re in action, we’re already going, you’re not really, you’re creating that to-do list. If you can sit with that, like you said, guys that are really good at visualising the way a job lands and how it’s going to finish and what’s it going to look like. They could tell you down, Phil could tell you down to the way the leaves would look and at what time of the day it would look and in what time of the day it would look different to the other times of day that what he wanted in the job was so clear, but yet when he tried to do it for himself, what he wanted was almost secondary to the laundry list of to-dos that he needed.

(11:29):

So I think it’s really, really good way to think about it.

Speaker 1 (11:32):

Why do you think business owners struggle with that, do you think?

Speaker 2 (11:36):

I think the stakes is usually where I land with clients and it’s what stakes do they put on the outcome? And if I’m in pain, the stakes are high, I can get out of this so it then drops an urgency on it. The stakes are high, I want to get out of this. When do you want to do it? I want to get through this as soon as possible. I’ve identified what I don’t want. I’m now going to work really hard to get out of it. Alright, what should we do? So it’s just this unbridled or untamed dialogue in their mind that just goes straight from the what into the how. And I think not having the awareness when your mind starts to go is probably what stops most people getting clear on what they want.

Speaker 1 (12:11):

I would agree with that from my end. I think it’s because people are very good at telling you what they don’t want, but they’re not very good at telling you what they do want. And I think some people also struggle to give themselves permission to be able to say, well, this is who I am, this is what I want for my life and I’m committed to making that happen. And they really struggle with that. They know they want to go from 60 hours a week down to 40, but then you say, great, you’re at 40. What do you want to do with your business and life? They then go, I actually don’t know. And they really struggle with that permission piece to really want to play a bigger game really deep down. They do know what they want, but it’s very much a permission piece, isn’t it?

Speaker 2 (12:58):

I think so, but we talk about it a lot. I think there’s a clue in what we do Rob, which is taking people on the journey from being a doer to a leader. And I think you talk about it all the time, leadership involves vision. It’s the ability to be clear on where we’re going and setting outcomes. And for people that have been stuck in doer mode for so long, they do. And no wonder they’re so good at building to-do lists. So I think there’s a bit of that in there too, just based on where they’re at in their journey.

Speaker 1 (13:23):

Yeah, absolutely. For sure. If you’re in that position where you want to be able to make this year your best year yet, and you’ve spent maybe the last couple of years or the last one to two years, it just felt like they’ve been on autopilot or the same results over and over and over and over again, and you are committed to absolutely making some change and making this your year where you’re going to make the change, you’re going to follow through and you really want to make this your best year yet, then jump across to strategy session.com au or jump across into the links in the show notes and let’s get that call booked in to be able to talk a bit about where you’re at, where you’re trying to go, and let’s lay the roadmap in terms of bridging the gap between those two.

(14:10):

And what we’ll do is we’ll map it out. Let’s treat it like a real strategy call. It takes us a good 60 to 90 minutes to be able to map it out. And what drops out of it is you get really clear on what your next milestone is, you get really clear on what your outcomes are. We get really clear on what the roadmap and the strategic plays are, and then you’ve got the ability to get that thing called clarity. And clarity is power in the end of the day. So I really encourage you to jump across to strategysession.com au, get that call booked in and let’s have an initial discovery call, find out where you’re at, where you’re trying to go, and let’s really get that process underway.

Speaker 2 (14:48):

Yeah, it’d be a great experience and I think everyone could benefit from the way you’ll hold them in that what do they want question rather than the how do we get there? And just that coach you having them on the strategy call and calling out, Hey, we’re getting into how mode. We’re not up to that yet. It’s really powerful. I’ve seen you do that before. Let’s talk about the third trap. And I think this one is, this sneaks up a bit because you can do everything. You can have the most crystal clear vision. This is almost at the other end of the scale, have the most crystal clear vision. You know exactly what you want. You’re excited by it. It is compelling. It is a gap away from getting out of pain, but then people fall into the third trap and later on what that is, it shows up because they ignored the obstacles or the challenges that were going to happen along the way, even though everyone could see them if you spent some time on them, they just ignore the obstacles.

Speaker 1 (15:36):

A life without challenge or running a business without challenges. It’s fantasy or delusion, it doesn’t exist. It’s always going to be challenges and obstacles along the way. And I think one of the best things that you can do as a leader, as a business owner, especially when you’re setting your visions, your goals, your outcomes, and your strategic plays, is take that next step further is to preempt what might go wrong. And Dan, I think that’s the secret, isn’t it? If you can preempt it, you’re almost being aware of what some of the challenges might be and you’re kind of planning for it. So when they do hit, it’s not like, shit, where did that come from? You’re kind of already prepared for it arn’t you?

Speaker 2 (16:20):

You are. You’ve put some time into it and you’ve invested in this obstacle and given it some thought. The key though is when you’re giving it thought, it’s before the obstacle hits, before the pressure hits you, before you feel like you’re under the pump, you’ve actually got this as part of your vision, you’re expecting it, and when it shows up, you’re ready for it. Most people, when they do their resolutions and they go down the perfection path, they’ll sit there and they’ll say, I’ve got this perfect vision. Something knocks ’em off track for two seconds and the whole thing crumbles.

Speaker 1 (16:50):

Yeah. And I think we have to expect it. It’s going to happen. There’s going to be challenges. You’ve got to be prepared to navigate those challenges and not allow those challenges just to knock you off the path. Let’s think around our health resolutions for example. There’s going to be temptation. You’re going to go and fill up the server and there’s going to be chocolate staring at you. There’s going to be ice cream in the fridge, drive past fast food places. There’s temptations and distractions around everywhere. So when we’re setting our resolutions and go on those journeys, we’ve got to be prepared that those obstacles and challenges and temptations are going to be along the way. We’ve got to make our resolve strong enough, but be prepared that those things are going to be staring us in the face all day long. And it comes back to that thing of how bad do we want it? And these little tests are somewhat coming our way to be able to go, alright, Dan, how bad do you want to mate? Kind of thing. They’re there to test you and challenge you, aren’t they?

Speaker 2 (17:58):

Absolutely. And there’s two things I’ll add to this. One fill and one not. I love the food one you gave and there’s this idea that you should never go to the supermarket when you’re hungry because it’s proven that you buy shit and you load up on the stuff you probably shouldn’t. But having a plan around that is, alright, I’m not going to go when I’m hungry. I know I’m going to get hungry. That’s the obstacle. Let’s do it beforehand. Let’s order it in instead. Let’s not go to the supermarket. Or that’s an example of what we’re talking about, of acknowledging the obstacles along the way, having a little plan so we don’t get knocked off track. The second one is then coming back to Phil, and let’s relate it back to Phil’s story. One of the ways that he was going to, or one of the things that he had in his vision, sorry, was working out at the gym and we started talking about this and Phil was getting good at it by now.

(18:44):

He was clear on what he wanted to do. He wanted to drop a heap of weight, all that sort of stuff. And he knew why he was doing it to be healthier with the kids, to run around on the farm, all of those things. The one thing that Phil didn’t understand or what we didn’t do was look at obstacles and it fell over the first couple of times. And then we went, alright, what’s the obstacle? And Phil recognised that his timetable or how his energy was during the day wasn’t great. In order of working out, I either had to hit the ground running in the morning so I couldn’t go in the morning or I’d put in a full day. So by the nighttime I just didn’t have the energy. And then I had the kids and helping out Kel and everyone like that. What we did though was we changed the time. He went and we said, all right, if that happens and you’ve got those two things, those obstacles in the way, what else can we do to plan? And he ended up time blocking out an appointment time in his diary in the mid-morning that would allow him to keep an appointment with his personal trainer and made sure he worked out. But that all came because he was able to anticipate the obstacles and challenges and build them into his plan. So I love that example. I think it’s a really good one.

Speaker 1 (19:45):

Yeah, absolutely. And from a business perspective, there’s going to be challenges. You can set all the best goals and strategic players along the way, but you’re going to have jobs in your pipeline fall over, you’re going to have key team members in your team move on. You’re going to have cashflow challenges along the way. You’re going to have someone who doesn’t pay you on time. You’re going to have whatever it is in your world, there’s absolutely going to be challenges. And so the reason why most people do fail, and this is the trap, is that the moment they hit that obstacle, all their good intentions from the 1st of January go out the window. But if you’ve got the ability to be able to project yourself in the future, anticipate these challenges, and then have the ability to be able to go, well, what could go wrong and how am I going to navigate them and set that up as part of your resolution for what you’re going to achieve in the year, what it helps you do is overcome the problems and challenges you face along the way.

(20:51):

And you see them as being on the way, not in the way. And I think if you can get that right in your journey, and I heard this quote from one of my mentors, Dr. John Demartini, is it on the way or in the way? And these challenges, if you can help them see that they’re just being part of on your way of your journey, not actually in your way, what it helps you do is hit the challenges, hit the challenge, learn from it, overcome it, and move forward. And you don’t see challenges as things that prevent you from moving forward. You just see them as part of your journey to be able to step up and play a bigger game.

Speaker 2 (21:28):

Yeah, I love that. That’s a great reminder. I love every time you hear that, it’s like, oh yeah. And it’s so easy to forget. I really like that. So they’re our three traps, and I think you can see now listening that this,

Speaker 1 (22:02):

Yeah, number one is you want to get clear on what you do want. Number two is set a compelling goal and a roadmap of how you’re going to get there. And number three, anticipate and plan for challenges. If you get all those three things, what you’re doing is having clarity. You’ve got positive intentions, you’re moving towards pleasure, not pain, you’re clear on what you want, how you’re going to get there. You’ve anticipated on what’s coming, and then it’s just about getting on and doing the work. And it’s your ability to focus on the things that matter. And if you slip up, who cares? Get back on the horse and keep moving forward and not just be like the majority of people out there in society, which we see so many business owners fall into this trap as well, where all their New Year’s resolutions and goals have gone out the window in February and March because they’ve just fallen off the waggon and they’re back into their old ways of doing things. So I think if you can get those three things right, that’s what sets you up for a really, really positive year ahead.

(23:45):

Yeah. One thing that we want to be able to hear from you is what’s your resolutions for this year? What is it that you are committing to change and improve and do some amazing things in your world across potentially your health, your wealth, your business, and your connections? What we call the four primary legacies here at Pravar Group. We want to be able to hear it, jump across into The Trade Den Facebook group and share with us, tell us a little bit about where you’re going, what you’re doing, and what you really want to achieve, and what you’re committing to do this year, and setting yourself up for a great year ahead. Jump across into there, let us know. Let’s get the conversation started, and we’d love to be able to hear what’s in store for you for the up and coming 12 months. Great to be back. Hope you’re setting yourself up for an amazing year ahead, and looking forward to speaking to you again next week.

Speaker 3 (24:42):

See you soon.