Episode 90 Podcast Transcript
Speaker 1 (00:00):
We’ve chosen this thing called business. And when you’re growing and expanding, there are going to be inevitable, stressful situations. There’s going to be inevitable challenges. And so we can’t stop that. But what we can do is develop ourselves and create the healthiest form of us to be able to handle those situations better going forward. Hi everyone Rob Kropp and Dan Stones here from Pravar Group and welcome back to another episode of The Trade Den. Welcome back Dan. Good to have you.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
Good to be here. Hey Rob. Hey everyone. Episode 90 and we’re doing a big one today all around what stress is, but episode 90, look at us go.
Speaker 1 (00:48):
I know. It’s pretty cool. Hey, we’re almost at the big 1 0 0. How exciting.
Speaker 2 (00:53):
I know we’re very excited about that. So keep listening and stay tuned. We’ve already got plans in place for episode a hundred. It’s going to be big. We’re excited, but we can’t share too much just yet. So let’s come back to today to stick with where we’re at, but it is huge. So let’s start with what stress actually is. And I think Rob, to be really clear, stress isn’t just like a feeling. It’s not just feeling like I’m busy or there’s a lot going on. It’s not just a label we put on something. Stress is really your body’s response to a threat. That’s really what it is. And stress, when I say when it originated, it sounds weird, but stress comes from your nervous system. It’s a physical response and your body can’t tell the difference. If you think way back to ancestors, in those times, a lion chasing you or a cashflow problem will have the same physical response in a human body. The cortisol, the adrenaline kicks in, heart rate increases. It’s a response to a physical threat or a perceived threat. Either way, the body does the same thing. So our system was designed for short bursts. We feel stressed, we do something, we fight, we flight, we move, whatever it might be. That’s the reaction to the stress, then it’s rest time. But in business that lion never stops chasing us In business, stress can always be present. It never goes away.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
You’re right. When I look back over all these years of being in business and just generally in life, there’s been a lot of moments of really high stress. There’s been moments of low stress and there’s been moments of stress that have come in different forms. There’s been times of high financial pressure. There’s been just general business stress. There’s been times where I’ve had high stress because of issues around the team. There’s been high stress, physical stress where there’s, believe it or not, for certain events back a long time ago, there’s been high levels of emotional stress from things going on in my personal life. And so I think it’s really important to remember that stress can come in different forms and it can come in different times in peak or troughs, and it never goes away. Stress never goes away. But I think what I’ve learned with over a period of time is how to deal with it better. And I think we’ve got to remember that is that stress has a purpose for us. There is a benefit to having stress, but there’s a big thing called bad stress and it’s not healthy when it does take over.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
And I think you either learn to manage stress or the stress will manage you, your body will react beyond just stress. It will go into breakdown. You’ll bust. And like you said, you’ve overtrained. Overtraining is a great example because you get to that point, you think I’m doing the right thing more of it’s got to be good, but it’s not. You end up breaking down at the end of the day. So most blokes default to one of two strategies. And when we talk about this today, I think the first one, I think we can all recognise it, but it is what we’re going to call our working harder response, which it doesn’t work. The idea that I can work harder somehow get beyond stress, and I think at the end of the day the goal is to say, well, I can eliminate this stress I’m feeling right now if I work a little bit harder. And that’s the trap in itself.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
Yeah, it is. It comes back to that mindset we talk about so much here on the podcast is that the longer and harder I work, the more money I make or making more money will fix my money problems. And so in business, stress generally shows up in the symptoms of financial and time problems. But the root cause of that is generally the biggest psychosocial stresses that we will experience as business owners is financial stress for sure. And I think team and financial and sales stresses are probably the big three that any business owner will experience.
(04:53):
And it’s understandable when you’ve got those stresses, those pressure of how am I going to make payroll on Monday? Or Oh shit, my pipeline’s dead, or Hey, I’ve just lost three really good people out of my team. They knock anyone for six. And it’s a natural response as a business owner just to dig in and think, well, I’ve just got to muscle my way through this. And it’s a strategy for so many people and sure you there’s got to be times where you do have to really, really knuckle down and push through, but it can’t be for long sustained periods of time.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
And you’ve got to have things in place to manage that. And I think that’s the misconception that a great team, a great business, a wealthy person, whatever it is that you’re looking at where you’ve got that experience in your life, it’s not that the person you are looking at or comparing yourself to hasn’t got those stresses. And I think that’s the first mistake people make. It’s like, well, they haven’t got stress, they’ve got money, they’ve got a team that works really well, they’ve eliminated that stress from their life. If you pulled back the curtain though, you can almost guarantee in every situation they haven’t, it still is there. They’re just better at managing it. And they’ve learnt to do something other than put in weekends to take more on themselves. They’ve done the work, they haven’t just pushed through it enough to go, well, that’s it. It’s behind me because it never is. And when it fails, you end up at a point where again, you just max yourself out. Even further maxing out more than you can go to is just going to end up in burnout and other problems.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
Correct. And I know this from firsthand. I remember in 2021 when we had those team challenges, when you came on board, we had two coaches finish up at almost the same time, and then we had one go on sick leave for an extended period due to some real serious health problems he had. And to be honest, I had that mindset where I’ve just got muscle through this and I did. I was already maxed out and here I was just muscling my way through it. But I look back at that time and I look back at photos and videos of when I was recording videos into our communities or photos just when I was, I didn’t look great. I looked big, baggy eyes, bags under my eyes. I looked so tired and worn out and scruffy and I was so busted. And the ripple, the flow on effects that had in how I felt about myself, the unhealthy habits that I picked up during those times, the impact it had on my health and emotional wellbeing and into my family life was so bad. And that was just because that was just my mindset at the time where I just got to muscle my way through it. And that period lasted for about six to nine months. And gee, it was the longest six to nine months and the flow on effect afterwards. But looking back, that’s what I felt like I had to do at the time. But gee, it had a bloody impact on me and the family for sure.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
Definitely. Now let’s sanity check that, just the fact that you went through it, you got past it, we got replacement, coaches in the health issues were gone, everything sort of the ship righted itself. Eventually it all got better. Did that mean that stress of team and people and having staff went away?
Speaker 1 (08:19):
Definitely not because there’s been time since then where we’ve had movement in our team, but what I have done is learn to handle those situations better and the next time it happened, sure, it wasn’t as intense of the pressure of movement within the team. And so it’s not that the stress went away, it’s just that the next time it happened I’d learned to deal with it better. And so I think that’s such a big reminder for us is that as we grow and expand as blokes and as business owners, that the stress, it’s not that the stress goes away, we just get better at dealing and managing with that stress and that you’ve got to accept that at some point in time, just trying to muscle your way through it isn’t just the best strategy because it genuinely compounds the issue and makes it worse.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
So the idea of working smarter not harder, it’s not more hours is going to give you the results, not then trying to claw back time afterwards either. It’s again, that stress has given you the lessons, the opportunity to grow from it and learn how to be smarter for next times there. But again, you can’t just muscle onto the next thing and go, all right, well glad that’s over. What’s behind me now that I’ve got to catch up on. It’s really about being smarter in terms of how you’re going to approach it next time and what lessons have you taken from it, which is another example of stress providing some benefit. You don’t want to eliminate it altogether.
Speaker 1 (09:48):
Correct. And that’s smarter in my ward was when I was going through that period the first time is what I did is had my normal maxed out load and then I just put a load on top of it and so I was already redlining and how do I add another 30% or 40%, 50% on top? And that’s where I was musing my way through it where I was redlining through that period and it didn’t work. That was me muscling my way through it redlining and as you said at the start, it’s short bursts is how you get through stress, but I was redlining for an extended period of time and that’s the problem when I went through a second time is that I had that mindset to realise that something’s got to give in order for me to be able to work my way through this in a methodical manner. And that’s how I dealt with it the next time. Not just by redlining in extended periods, but taking things off my plate, creating space and having some better healthy habits around it rather than just lining the whole time.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
Yeah, I love it and I think if it’s not clear as you listen to this, we’re not saying the answer is to not work as hard, working hard is par for the course, the effort has to be there. You’re going to have moments of extended effort, but you’ve got to have those peel back moments. We’re not going there today as much, but the idea of deloading is something we talk about a lot as well. That’s all to help manage the levels of intensity that you’re bringing, the levels of effort, intensity that go into a quarter at Pravar, the ability to take that off and come back a bit allows you to play and manage with that stress that’s built up over a sustained period of time. Really good. Alright, let’s talk about the second strategy that guys do. And this is, we’ve all done this and again we’ve got to call it out, but it’s the avoid and numb that’s the strategy and it’s sneaky because I think the numb one we’ll get to, but the avoid one’s really sneaky because it feels like you’re doing something proactive to manage stress to either eliminate it in your own mind, whatever eliminate means, but it’s something like that that you’re trying to do.
(11:55):
That avoidance part can be really sneaky.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
Yeah, it’s the constant moving, it’s the not slowing down, it’s the filling in the spare time in inverted commas that you’ve got with just more stuff, more work, keeping busy. It’s the avoidance of the real issue and filling your plate with busy stuff just to avoid the real thing that needs actually addressing for whatever reason.
Speaker 2 (12:24):
So it’s often called as well, avoiding and numbing is all called masking and I think that’s the thing you’re painting over the real issue. In other words, maybe even sweeping it under the carpet. And as we know, the more you sweep under there or the more you pile on top of it, it only makes things worse. Things will creep up, things will get worse. As you do this, you avoid those real issues and you just get busy being busy because you can almost cope, which is why it’s called a coping mechanism. You can cope with being busy but you don’t want to deal with the real issue. And I think this is the other thing that happens with avoidance is people go back and it’s probably a telltale sign that they go back to what’s easy or comfortable or what they know and they’re busy themselves with what feels familiar.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
Instead of addressing the team issues or instead addressing the sales issue or pipeline issues or instead of addressing the financial issues that the real issues that are going on in the business, they get back onto the tools, they go and start doing pickups and drop-offs of materials and deliveries and they avoid the things that actually matter and they go back to what’s easy and comfortable and it kind of makes ’em feel good in the moment because they’re feeling busy and it feels like they’re marking things off their to to-do list to get that sense of accomplishment, but they’re not really fixing the root cause of the problem. They’re kind of just masking over it and keeping themselves busy to avoid doing the work of the things that actually matter.
Speaker 2 (13:54):
And I think especially in a financial sense, you look at bad financial results where clients are struggling with stuff and they’re like, well what are you doing? What’s changed? Or how are you going to address this? You can see it plain as day. Maybe they’ve overspent on marketing, they’ve been sold something that they didn’t need. They’re holding onto equipment they don’t want you talk to them about it and go, how do you think you’re going to do this in a coaching conversation? How do you think you’re going to turn some of this around? What could you think of? And they’ll give you the most weirdest things. It’s like, well, I can save money if I start doing some more work on the tools, I can save money if I go and do some deliveries or something like that. You get these really weird, it’s just total avoidance of what’s staring them in the face.
Speaker 1 (14:32):
Yeah, because let’s face it, stress can be bloody crippling.
(14:36):
The big stresses around money and team and everything. It could be bloody crippling, you’re bleeding financially and you’ve got to do something about it, but the stress could be that crippling that it stops you in your tracks, but it takes courage to be able to face up to that and stop sweeping it under the carpet. And that’s why at pr, one of our first Pravar principles is face the facts is don’t sweep it under the carpet, stare it down in the mirror and go, right, what are we going to do about this? And let’s fix the root cause of this problem. And what we see with clients all the time, the moment they start getting momentum in that area and start working through those challenges, the stress starts to go away because they’re actually addressing not just the symptoms but the root causes of what’s going on. So it’s understandable, it’s human behaviour too and that natural response that when you are crippled by stress that you just take the easy path but you don’t overcome the challenging things by taking the easy path. You’ve got to address it head on and knock it over and just keep moving forward.
Speaker 2 (15:44):
Yeah, absolutely. The second part of this, the numbing part, this is where I think there is the realisation that the stress is real. You cannot avoid this situation. You might even be working to eliminate it, but it’s almost you’ve red lined on even your stress at that point and you start to look for things to numb it. The numbing thing is that idea of if I do something to take the edge off, I’ve got to get back away from that edge and as long as I’m not right at the edge, that’s going to be better than the pain I’m in right now. So people start to do what’s called numbing.
Speaker 1 (16:17):
And let’s face it, we’ve all been there. You’ve had a bloody stressful day and the first thing you feel like doing is just like, oh man, I just want to sit down and have a beer. Or you find yourself going to the cupboard and eating chocolate or overindulging in it’s unhealthy food or certain behaviours that you do deep down it’s not healthy but you just want to do it to feel good in that moment. And you are numbing. That’s what alcohol and chocolate and lots of sugar and all those eating shit food does. It just numbs the pain and makes you feel better in that moment. And when you’re stressed, you discipline and decision making is at its lowest and that’s the problem is that you have low in high stress, it’s low discipline, low decision making, and that’s where those habits start creeping in. You just want to feel good in that moment and that’s why you do those unhealthy things that you know probably shouldn’t be doing.
Speaker 2 (17:23):
Yeah, you’re looking for that break. You stay up late and watching shit tv, we’ve all done that and then all of a sudden it’s late at night and you’re going, shit, this is not going to be a good sleep. And sure enough, the next day gets worse. Same thing with food. You let go of what takes a little bit of effort that’s really holding you up and you drop those things. We say it with coaching as well, when guys are in high stretch situations, we’ve got to double down on being there and available and staying in contact with guys because if we don’t, that’s when they tend to walk away, which is the time they need that support, that discipline, that consistency is most important. Yet that’s the time where I’ve got to deal with what’s important, what’s really stressing me out the root cause of issues and I don’t want to do that. So I’ll numb myself, I’ll withdraw from the situation, take myself back from the edge.
Speaker 1 (18:10):
And it becomes a bit of a vicious cycle, doesn’t it?
Speaker 2 (18:12):
Oh absolutely it does. And like we said, anytime you’re avoiding what’s going on, it doesn’t mean it goes away. We love to kid ourselves that it does, but it doesn’t disappear, it won’t go away by itself. That stress is going to be present that that issue is going to need to be dealt with at some point. The debt that’s building up from avoiding it or from numbing from it, it only grows and it comes back like all debts with interest, it will come back even harder if it’s not dealt with properly. And I think you end up in that position where that compounding effect, it creates real long-term consequences that if you had have dealt with them at the time, if you had have had the courage to do that, if you had have avoided the avoidance if you like, were able to catch yourself in that moment, then you get the benefit of having to deal with it. Otherwise you end up having the same stress and a whole lot on top.
Speaker 1 (19:02):
And what that looks like is the financial stress doesn’t go away, then you start eating shitty food. So you start feeling sluggish, which means then you’re drinking more coffee to keep you alert, which means then you are wired during the day, which means you’re tired and stressed, so you sleep less and then you’re tired the next day, which means the cycle starts again and then you’re looking for pies and strawberry milks and chocolate to keep you going and then you become more tired and then the beers kick in and then that’s when the downward spiral happens on both ends. It’s the financial stress getting worse, you are becoming more unhealthy. So it’s the downward spiral happening. So the downward spiral happens on both ends and then the motivation stops. So instead of you going in there and going, well, let’s address the financial issue or let’s manage our guys better on site to improve our margins, or let’s get those quotes out the door or let’s actually fix our sales problem. You don’t have the energy to go and do that to fix the root cause. So this is where people get caught in those huge downward spirals. It starts somewhere, the unhealthy habits kick in and then that’s when it starts to get out of control. But you’ve got to be able to identify that and learn to know when you’re in those spirals and what are you going to do to be able to snap yourself out of it and fix it so you don’t move in those directions.
Speaker 2 (20:28):
Absolutely. And then layer on top of it some of the other emotional things that make it harder to get out of it, talk about guilt, like the role that guilt plays in and where that kicks into this spiral that you’re talking about. And I also think then that the idea of, and this is why the masking and the avoidance of being busy is we kid ourselves that the motion is something that’s going to help. I’ve just got to move and moving away from it. But we don’t consider the direction, like you just said, the downward spiral is never going to mean progress. It’s just going to mean you’re further away from the pain maybe. But the only way back out is to get through this situation, you’ve got to go forwards. The motion has to lead to progress and the numbing doesn’t lead to any progress.
(21:11):
It stops you in your tracks. It is trying to stop the clock on the stress. The avoidance isn’t to try and get through the stressful situation. The avoidance is just purely to distract you from the fact that it’s going on for a short period of time. But if you won’t face it, you can’t deal with it. So you’ve really got to be, I think again, face the facts. That’s why it’s such a foundational principle at Pravar. Alright, let’s talk then. Let’s turn the corner and talk about what actually works. So if these two strategies or three strategies and what we’ve talked about so far doesn’t work and you’ve recognised that, you probably knew it already, but what does work? And I think the first thing is as we go through this is these are sort of steps you need to take. And I think if you are in a downward spiral and you need to reverse it, this is a starting point and the very first step in this strategy about what works is naming stress for what it is. If you don’t acknowledge it, if you’re not willing to acknowledge it, if you don’t want to say it, if you think it’s a weakness instead of a sign, then you’re missing a trick. So I think the first thing Rob is to say and name stress when it comes up.
Speaker 1 (22:16):
Yeah, I think this is where self-awareness comes in. It’s just calling it out for what it is is maybe you haven’t been sleeping well and you just got to acknowledge that maybe you’re feeling irritable and you just got to be able to go, man, I’m snapping at my kids, I’m irritable with my partner, or I’m just snapping at my team, or whatever it is. Or maybe you’ve got physical symptoms of a tight chest or headaches or whatever it is. You get sick from time to time. There’s going to be signs and symptoms that you experience, but instead of just trying to avoid them or pretending that they don’t exist, you got to call a spade a spade and have the level of self-awareness to be able to go, you know what? I’m not feeling great at the moment because I think just by acknowledging it, accepting it and verbalising it, it makes it real. And that’s the first starting to point to be able to make change and better manage the stress and manage the situation that you’re in at the moment.
Speaker 2 (23:15):
And I think this is gaining traction. I mean you look at a lot of the movements out there and a lot of the support organisations are you okay type thing. It’s to try and have that conversation and say you’ve got, are you okay? It’s not okay, it’s okay to not be okay. All of this stuff is trying to say, hey, being stressed isn’t a problem. But if we ignore it, if we hide it, if we don’t call it out for what it is, that’s the first step that pushes the snowball off the cliff if you like. All right, once we’ve done that and we’ve said it out loud, I’m stressed, this is affecting me, I’m not great as you just said, the next thing is to address the source and really take time in that moment. You’ve created the space now because you’re not just snowballing into, well I’ll just keep working harder, I’ll just do something else. You’re now going to address the source and this is all about stop treating symptoms and really start to work on well what is the root cause? What’s actually going on here?
Speaker 1 (24:09):
Yeah, this is your ability to, and whether this is something you could do by yourself or sometimes it’s important to have this conversation with a trusted mentor or an advisor or a coach or even just with your partner just to be, once you’re being honest with yourself and with someone else, maybe you can ask those questions to be able to go, what’s the actual problem here that’s causing the stress? Or what decision am I making? Or what conversation am I avoiding that really needs to happen or what boundaries do I need to set to be able to be able to create better boundaries to be able to operate within? So what you can do is either have someone ask you that or you ask yourself if you’ve got good levels of self-awareness to be able to just ask yourself the good quality questions to not just feel the symptoms but to get to the root cause of what’s actually causing the stress. Once you can identify that, then you can address it and put strategies in place to actually fix the root cause of it rather than just sitting with the thing that’s creating the stress.
Speaker 2 (25:15):
I love it. And I think, I dunno if you said those three deliberately, but I love that I’m going to come back to it. Decision, conversation and boundary, a decision that you haven’t made that’ll cause stress every day of the week that just piles on. We’ve all been there, right? So a decision, so as you listen, is there a decision I’m sitting on, the next one you said was a conversation that needs to be, had a tough conversation that the things that aren’t said, massive stress builder. So conversation’s a really good key point and the last one about you said was what boundary, I think what boundary is it that’s being not just needs to be set, but what boundary have I either ignored or where am I on the wrong side of this boundary is someone else and how do I push back on that and pushing back on boundaries that have been broken is another stressful thing. So absolutely those three things that you said there are gold in terms of where the causes, the root causes of the stress are decisions, conversations, and boundaries.
Speaker 1 (26:07):
If you think about it, a lot of the things that you’re feeling at the moment have probably been a buildup of stuff that’s been happening over the last one week, one month, two months, six months, 12 months. It’s been a combination of things that have got you to this point. And so instead of wallowing in your stress and wallowing in the problem, it’s like what are you going to do about it? Let’s not sit here in the stress, let’s move forward. Let’s be a little bit pragmatic about this situation and go right, what are we going to do to fix it? Let’s get on with it. Let’s fix the root cause of the problem rather than just feeling sorry for ourselves.
Speaker 2 (26:41):
And it’s amazing how often this is all in our heads, these conversations and the stress we’ve built up, the fact that we then go and have the conversation make the decision once and for all, I dunno about you, but how many times have you done it where you figure it out and you go, geez, that wasn’t as bad as I thought I should have done that ages ago.
Speaker 1 (26:57):
And this is why having external people around you might asking you these questions important. This is why coaching is important because when you’re in this situation, you’re sometimes too close to it. You can’t see the forest for the trees. You’re living in that moment. You’re all up in your head around the situation and you’re so close to it, you can’t see the symptom versus the root cause and you can’t sometimes see the strategy on the way out of it so close. And that’s when having the conversation with someone, especially having a good coach as a sounding board to be able to talk a bit about well what are the symptoms, what are the problems and what are the solution to be able to get through this is so critical to be able to help you move forward. And we see that a lot in coaching where clients are just feeling like the weight of the world’s in their shoulders from time to time and they can have an hour’s coaching call and they feel lighter, they get in crack on with what they need to get done and next week they’re a different person. So having the conversation around this stuff and really working your way through and in a methodical manner is the key to actually addressing it and addressing it in a timely manner.
Speaker 2 (28:03):
Yeah, absolutely. Alright, let’s talk the third one, and I know you’re big on this one, and this is all around building healthy habits.
Speaker 1 (28:10):
This is huge because this is stress management and it’s your ability to not avoid it completely or not eliminate it completely. It’s the way that you manage yourself to handle the stressful situations. We’ve got to remember that as business owners, we’ve chosen this path, we’ve chosen this thing called business, and when you’re growing and expanding, there are going to be inevitable stressful situations, there’s going to be inevitable challenges. And so we can’t stop that. But what we can do is develop ourselves and create the healthiest form of us to be able to handle those situations are better going forward.
Speaker 2 (28:59):
The ability to have the energy to sustain and endure the situation, the energy to be able to treat the root cause. All of that is going to take a lot of energy. So setting ourselves up to have the right energy levels comes from three things that we talk about. The first one being eat, which is fueling your body properly. Eating shit as an avoidance mechanism isn’t going to help in the moment, but you do that long enough and you don’t eat well, you’re already starting with a half empty tank.
Speaker 1 (29:28):
Yeah, correct. It’s what we’re putting in our mouth that matters. And it’s not just the food but it’s the alcohol as well. And I know that’s the big movement that’s changing across our communities is a lot of guys are absolutely changing their relationship with alcohol. And it’s not that there’s some guys quitting altogether, but there’s some guys who are just choosing to eliminate it during the week because they want to be a high performer during the week and they’re on when they’re on and on weekends they can still have a beer or a wine if they choose to. And so during the week they choose to restrict themselves from alcohol and they choose to eat healthy because what they’re doing is fueling their body and they’re fueling their minds to be sharper and make far better decisions. And I know there’s been times where I’ve eaten shit food and drank too much alcohol because the stress was there and that was my coping mechanism just to be able to get through those situations.
(30:35):
Afterwards I recognised that all I was doing is compounding the problem, but there’s been times where I’ve not drank but I’ve eaten shit food. I was still only halfway of the equation, but I’ve recognised that the thing that works best for me is when my, I limit my alcohol and my nutrition is on point. And when I can do that, that’s when they’re the two ingredients of the things you put in your mouth, they’re the two things that make a huge difference in keeping your mind sharp, your decision sharp, and your ability to manage through those stressful situations when they do arise.
Speaker 2 (31:14):
Yeah, as you’re talking about that, the other one, I think alcohol is one, the other one that’s probably prevalent in the industry is energy drinks. The idea of just smashing Red Bulls, it’s the same mechanism, it’s a different liquid, but you weigh up the people that are smashing energy drinks to fuel their body. It’s the same outcome as what you’re talking about.
Speaker 1 (31:36):
Yeah, for sure. Yeah,
Speaker 2 (31:37):
And I think that lends into this next one, which is sleep, not getting enough sleep. And you can see how this sort of perpetuates the thing. You don’t get enough sleep, you might sleep in, if you’re not getting the right amount of sleep and your body hasn’t recovered, you’re not giving your brain time to recover, you’re going to feel sluggish. I’ll reach for a red bull now. I’m not fueling myself properly or I’ve now slept in, now I’m out of time, I haven’t got time to eat well, I’m now going to have just grab whatever I can out of the servo fridge. That sort of stuff just doesn’t sustain you. And again, these healthy habits, when they’re missing, you can see where it leads to.
Speaker 1 (32:09):
And sleep is the sleep then influences the eat, like we spoke around before is you’re tired, you’re worn out, your decision making is low, your discipline is low, therefore you generally drink more and you eat worse. And so sleep and believe it or not, sleep and nutrition, which includes alcohol and energy drinks and everything, whatever goes in your mouth actually go hand in hand because the better you eat and the less you drink, the better you sleep, the better, better you sleep, the better you feel, the better decisions you make around your nutrition. So these two things go hand in hand to be able to keep you at the top of your game and manage these stressful situations when they inevitably arise.
Speaker 2 (32:52):
Yeah, absolutely. And then the next one is move just physical activity and the impact that that has on your nervous system. And this is one that I think people discount because they don’t make that link between stress is just a label, it’s something I feel because I’m busy, the less I do, the less stress I’ll have. Whereas it’s the cortisol, the adrenaline. Now what reduces that in a chemical reaction sort of sense in the physiology of the body is moving and doing exercise will help eliminate that, help reduce that and regulate that stuff.
Speaker 1 (33:25):
Yeah, it’s just sweating, getting out there and sweating and getting the body moving and get going. And this is especially relevant for, this is especially relevant for those guys who are transitioning off the tools or are transitioned off the tools where when you’re on the tools, you can probably get away with having a few coffees and eating a bit of shit food and even eating a bit of servo stuff and having a few red balls. You can probably do that because you’re so physical during the day. But the moment, and we see this a lot with clients, the moment they start having more office time, they actually start putting on weight if they don’t change the way that they do things. And so when you’re on the tools, that’s your physical exercise, but when you’re off the tools, that’s where you’ve got to eat better, drink less, sleep more, and actually go and do some exercise. You’re not getting that in the absence of being on the tools, this move is so important and that could just be as easy as going for a half an hour walk or a 20 minute run or a bit of a hits thing in your lounge room. It doesn’t have to be a massive gym session. It can just be getting your body up and active. And I don’t know about you, but you just feel so much better for it, don’t you?
Speaker 2 (34:34):
Oh, absolutely. I can tell you last night I went to the gym, I did not want to go. I had been a big day, there was a fair bit going on, there was late stuff that happened in the day. I was feeling stressed. It was like, I don’t want go, but I did. And sure enough, I remember walking out and going, I’m so glad I did that and it, I still didn’t like it, but it was like I can see the benefit of it straight away. And I think this is where these things eat, sleep, and move. If you are thinking of these as a luxury or someday I’ll get to do that, then you’re thinking about it wrong. This has to become your foundation. This has to be the investment you’re making in yourself, in your business. This is an investment that is going to pay off so much more than probably anything else we talk about on the podcast. You get this right, you’re going to be starting so much better off than where you are if you’ve got it wrong so far.
(35:23):
The fourth one I want to talk about just quickly is sharing the load. And again, I think this comes back to that idea and this sort of movement that’s happening where we’re trying to have conversations about stress, reduce the isolation of it, the idea that stress is a weakness, don’t talk about that stuff, what’s wrong with you, that sort of idea. But I think it’s important to say one of these things is just sharing the load and not having to feel like you’ve got to carry everything in the weight of the world on your shoulders. It’s okay to start talking about it’s okay to put your hand up and ask for help.
Speaker 1 (35:53):
Yeah, this is a big one for us blokes, is we don’t want to be seen as weak by not talking about this stuff. And I think in business it’s hard to talk to your partner sometimes about it because they don’t either understand it, they don’t get it, or you don’t want to burden them with your problems because they’ve got their challenges of their own. And I think this is where the isolation comes in, where it’s like I don’t know who to turn to or I don’t know what to say or I don’t even think I should say it because people around me have already got their own problems and others don’t want to feel weak by saying something. But I think it’s so important because sometimes it’s so bloody good to get it off your chest and talk to your mates about it or talk to your partner about it, what’s going on in your world or talking to a coach or mentor or whatever it is. It’s so good to get it off your chest sometimes just to be able to talk through this stuff.
Speaker 2 (36:47):
Yeah, absolutely. And I think what we’ll do as well is in the show notes, we’ll put a link into TIACS, which is a free counselling service for tradies and having the ability just to pick up the phone. I think there’s a tech service with them as well. We support that at Pravar, the ability just to pick up the phone, talk to them. If you’re really dealing with stress and there is no one you can think of or it’s just unheard of, there’s no way you could bring yourself to do it. Pick up the phone and talk to them because they’ll be there to talk you through that and at least offer an ear that you can give some of this and share some of this stress out to see where you can go from there.
Speaker 1 (37:21):
And this is why coaching is so important. This is why this is the role that we play as coaches is we can’t underestimate the impact that we have on our clients’ lives because every business owner goes through stressful times. There’s always going to be a financial stress you go through, there’s always going to be team problems, there’s always going to be pipeline issues, there’s going to be market issues, there’s always going to be personal issues. And I just look back over our clients of all these years that we’ve been coaching and I look back at some of them and I wonder how they would’ve gone getting through those stressful times if they hadn’t have done coaching. And it’s such an important thing to be able to have someone to talk to. And that’s why coaching is so critical for business owners is you’ve got someone in your corner who can’t always fix the problem for you, but they can help talk through the problem with you. And that’s the role of a good coach to be able to help you through that. So it’s so important to be able to have those people in your corner to be able to help you through those situations.
Speaker 2 (38:28):
Yeah, a hundred percent. Alright, shall we name this week’s challenge?
Speaker 1 (38:33):
Let’s do it.
Speaker 2 (38:33):
Alright, three steps this week. First of all, we’re going to name our stresses. So get in there and have a really good think about this. Write down what is stressing you right now. If you’re dealing with some stress, you’re stressed, you’re not on your game, you’ve got something on your mind, write it down, but be specific. All right? Be specific and name it, I am stressed, I’m stressed about X. It doesn’t have to be war and peace in terms of what you write down, but write it down and actually acknowledge it and consider it. If you need to lift that carpet up and see what’s under there and really deal with it, now’s the time to do it. So that’s step one. Step two is going to be pick a lead domino. So what we want you to do is choose one healthy habit out of eat, sleep, and move.
(39:14):
Just pick one of those and just start to work with a commitment to doing that at least once this week and give yourself the benefit, the gift of actually setting yourself up to have some more energy to deal with whatever is that’s stressing you. And third, pick out that one decision, that one conversation or that one boundary and really look at what you have been avoiding and then address it. Just give it a crack. I mean it’s probably a whole nother topic, but the ability to sit there and say, I’m going to address this. How bad can it be? Often what’s in our mind is worse than what the actual action is or what we have to go through to address the root cause. So really have that conversation, make that call, have that conversation about a boundary, whatever it might be. But go and do something. Do something that addresses the root cause. So that’s our challenge for the week.
Speaker 1 (40:05):
I love it. And if you’re ready to build a business that doesn’t run you into the ground, jump across to strategysession.com.au and book in a discovery call and we can talk through what’s going on in your world and how we can help you through it. What a great episode. I love it. It’s one of those things that stress doesn’t go away, but we just as blokes and as men, as husbands and fathers and businessmen, we can just learn to manage those stressful situations better. And I think that’s the big takeaway from today is you can not eliminate it and you can’t prevent it. But what you can do is put these steps in place to manage through these inevitable stressful situations that are going to come your way. Hopefully you’ve taken something away from it. Make sure you get stuck into that challenge that we’ve set you this week and looking forward to coming back to you with another great episode on The Trade Den coming up soon. Until then, take care.
Speaker 2 (40:57):
See you soon.